Tuesday, December 30, 2014

2014 - A Year in Beer (My 53 top picks and a homebrew)

As I sit here drinking yet another new (to me - Brooklyn Hand & Seal) beer, I come to the realization that 2014 was a breakthrough in both drinking and brewing beer for me.  I stopped doing full reviews on BeerAdvocate after figuring out that I was looking far too into beers, and just not enjoying the quality I would have picked up on earlier in life.  I took other reviews and hypes with a grain of salt, and just went big.  After a LOOOOOONG night of looking through all my 2014 checkins on untappd, I've compiled the following list.  It's really in no order, and I tried to trim it down to an honorable number (though that did not work).  I hope you enjoy reading about these beers as much as I did drinking them.

Toppling Goliath - Assassin
First off, a GIANT thanks to Matt from Wisconsin.. you rule for many reasons, and acquiring this beer for me just throws icing on top of all those reasons.  This beer was .. well, more of a subtle make out session with a chocolate bar, cup of coffee, and whiskey. Sure, I really like bourbon barrel aged beers, but the way everything comes together in this beer is just completely out of this world.

Odd Side Ales - Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Mayan Mocha
Another amazing barrel aged beer.  The great thing about this one, hot peppers go GREAT with cinnamon and chocolate.  This was a fantastically sweet cake-like treat that completely took me by surprise.  My first thoughts reading such a long dragged out name was... ehhhhh if it was good, they would've came up with a shorter more clever name. NOPE, FUCK YOU BRAIN.  Thanks Nick, for blowing my mind with this one.

Sierra Nevada - Narwhal Bourbon Barel Aged
Not a surprising one here, ANOTHER BBA Stout.. If you know anything about me, though, you would remember that I know nothing about spirits, nor do I drink them.  I just happen to think the barrel qualities on heavier beers help them.  A beer like Narhwal, I feel was truly meant for bourbon barrels... such a charred, bitter profile.  Add some vanilla notes and a subtle, yet present, bourbon flavor and this beer becomes absolutely perfect.

Bolero Snort - Bulleitude
Alright, I'm starting to think I'm a dick now.  Another barrel aged beer.. but wait, hold up, a barrel aged amber lager???? WHAT? Yeah.. it was awesome. Hands down the best thing I've had from them, though they make some perfect session beers at a more than affordable price.  This was just, again, a fluffy pillow fight between the base beer, some fall spices, and bourbon.  Like a 90's late night Skinemax movie, in and around my mouth.

Neshaminy Creek - The Shape of Hops to Come
This bourbon barrel aged double ip..... wait.. a non barrel aged beer? Am I drunk? .. Hmm.... WELL BAM.  This motherfucker is absolutely completely all about aggression.  In your fucking face with a variety of hops that I've barely even heard of up until I drank it.. Such an awesome balance between malt and then finding such a weird variety of hops that blend so god damn well together.  These guys got their shit together.  Now, how about finding more of these golden nugs that you used to create this and release it more often?? ;)

Forgotten Boardwalk - Funnel Cake
If I want a bunch of sessionable beers, but I also don't want to drink a pale ale, don't want to drink a stout, and don't want to really drink.. a beer that tastes like a beer... this is it.  Sure, I know that sounds stupid.  Unless you've had this.  It tastes like those creme soda dum dums.. but then, if you consume enough of it, it makes you power up in this weird awesome kid-like feeling.  I've had a few of their other offerings, but this one is just beautiful.  Time to start canning this one, guys!

De Molen - Kopi Loweak
This one, although an Imperial Stout, needs absolutely no barrel aging to catch my eye.  This "poop coffee" infused beer is just absolutely mind numbingly good.  It's expensive as heck for such a small "serving", but if any of us have learned anything... pay good money, get better beer.  This is by far one of the best examples of that motto.  Such strong coffee flavors, paired with what De Molen is best known for - imperial stout.  If you see this, pick it the fuck up.

Armadillo Ale Works - Brunch Money
I signed up for the Halloween Reddit Beertrade thing this year.. and I got a bunch of stuff I'd honestly never even heard of.  I opened this one up expecting a syrupy stout.  What I got instead was one of the best fucking beers I've ever had.  A golden/imperial cream ale.. sweet as honey with a roasty coffee like flavor, notes of chocolate... just fucking amazing.  A totally random beer experience, which I had absolutely no expectations for completely blew my fucking mind that night.

To Ol - Yeastus Christus
I have to admit, I mostly got this for the label art, it reminded me a lot of some Crass Records stuff... Anyway, what I got was a completely fantastic Brett Brux based beer. Funky fresh, tons of weird off flavors, like drinking a jasmine infused malt heavy ipa.  If only I didn't have to travel into NYC to get their beers, life would be a bit more ...dare I say it? Well, it's not everyday I make a blog post... WILD

De Struisse - Cuvee Delphine
Yep.. Barrel Aged Black Albert.... do I really need to get more detailed?  As if it weren't enough, I was able to get it on Torst's magical pouring system, the Flux Capacitor.  A fantastic beer on its own, poured like the glue splashing down on a bowl of frosted flakes in tv commercials... except it wasn't on tv, and it wasn't fake milk aka glue.

Cantillon - Zwanze Cuvee Florian
Well, I'll be damned if I can actually tell you what this beer tasted like now.  It was an amazing day, where I met a lot of new friends.  This is the reason we all gathered around that day, and splurged and bought each other a ton of drinks, and brought bottles to share with one another etc... This is what life should be like every single day.  A happy celebration of... life.  Party on and be awesome to one another.

Trillium - Fort Point Pale Ale
Got this one in a trade, and drank it as soon as I could.. as I was told to do.  Well, this was a pleasant, VERY pleasant surprise.  A nice super hoppy pale ale, with enough of a malty backbone to tell you that you're still drinking beer and not sucking a pine tree's cone shaped dick.

------------------------BREAK----------------------
Alright, half of this 750 of hand & seal to the dome is proving to make me a terrible speller.  Taking a few minutes to stop staring at this screen.. maybe eat a sandwich, drink some water, etc...

Scarf'd down half a sandwich from QC, threw some music on, and poured the rest of the bottle
______ENDOFBREAK_______

Homebrew - Spontaneous Suicide
It's no surprise at all that someone would rate their own beer as the best thing they've ever had.  No, this is different.  This was a collaboration effort.  Matt sent me two bottles of unfermented beer from Wisconsin.  Matt from Cranford also gave me a 2 liter bottle of their stout.  I couldn't get around to brewing my end of this collaborative stout "in time"... whatever that means, right?  Well, apparently unfermented wort starts to naturally ferment.  Screw top bottlecaps on the water and soda bottles blew off like rockets in the night, creating some crazy spontaneous fermentation... This beer was pretty much everything I set out to brew 2 years ago when I made my first wild beer.  I know it's a cop out to put this up here since you most likely haven't tasted it, but it's on my top list of beers I've consumed, so deal with it. COOL.

Cigar City - El Monstruo Lupulo
Holy Shit.  This beer brings back flavor memories.  Tons of grapefruit blended so damn well with cedar.  By far the best hoppy beer Cigar City made (thatI've gotten a chance to try here in NJ).  Grapefruit, pine, citrusy, tropical, CEDAR. yum.

Jester King - Atrial Rubicite
Mother of all the raspberry jellies.  There was a time in m life where I told Matt (Wisconsin) to not bother trading for Jester King's stuff.  This was before they started getting creative and bottling stuff like this.  Such an amazing beer.  Who'd think an angry motherfucker in his 30's would go apeshit for a fruit beer?

Cascade - Apricot Ale
Psh, what a boner this guy must be.. this is such a shelf turd, right guys? Cool. No, not in NJ it isn't. The only other thing I had by them was Tangerine Dream, and that was even better.. but that wasn't 2014.  Anyway, this beer is fucking fantastic.  Subtle apricot flavors, MASSIVE lacto acidity.  Almost like sour orange tic tacs mixed in with bayers childrens aspirin.  Wait, is this still a beer??

Westbrook - Mexican Cake
Poured by Kim while she was still at Torst.  An amazing mindfuck of a dessert beer.  Honestly, I get it. I get the fucking name.  If I were to describe this to anyone, it's just liquid chocolate cake batter. Maybe I didn't get much of the peppers at the time, but the cinnamon was up front, as the vanilla, and chocolate.  Poured by my favorite bartender, at my favorite bar.. and this is easily at the very top of my list.  Cheers.

Highwater Brewing - Campfire Stout
Got this in a r/beertrade ... didn't really expect much from this one at all considering the last beer I had from this brewer was pretty subpar.  Well shit on my chest, this beer was fucking great.  Nope, not the "rauch-stout" I expected from the name AT ALL.  Toasted marshmallow, vanilla, and tons of chocolate.  Got to share this one with the one and only friend I've had since I started elementary school here in America.  Lance, we have a relationship that goes stronger than blood brothers. I don't know where I'd be in this world without you.

Boulevard - Love Child No.3
Thanks to Niki for this one! Surprise, you sent me a long time want!  It makes sense that they finally made their way into NJ, just like you did! Tons of funk, tons of sour, tons of delicious awesomeness.  Glad to have finally met you and Justin, the true king of beers.  This was a mindblowing experience, but all I can say is that the back  label makes perfect sense of everything that went through my mind when drinking this.

Evil Twin - Bozo Beer
Such a RIDICULOUS beer... right up my alley. a bit of pretty much absolutely fucking everything was inserted into this magical concoction and it shows.  A very sweet black nectar of the gods.  A terrible idea, yet great idea to drink by yourself.  There were MANY Evil Twin Beers that should probably be up on this list, but alas, I have to limit things to keep it fair... but this and Molotov take the cake for the best two Evil Twin beers I had this year.

Carton - Rickey
In the words of my brother in law "This tastes like drinking a clown's monkey's ballsack's vomit".  Sour, acidic, in your face... let it warm up and you get a very acidic, but flavorful sweet cherry with a lot of lime.  Why put this one up on the list, when I've had more acceptable tastier beers?  Because there's still hope for a NJ Brewery to keep giving absolutely zero fucks about the public and keep brewing what they want to consume.  Also, I absolutely loved this beer.... but then again, I also liked Intermezzo and the general public was a rusty trombone about that one.

Prairie/Evil Twin - Bible Belt
Ok another barrel aged beer.  Give it up facundo.. it's gettin' old. no. no it's not. this beer was fantastic. fuck off. I gave up a bottle of Darkness that Matt sent me for two bottles of this.  I sent him one.  The other, I drank, and it was absolutely delicious.  People nitpick that it's no "bomb". Suck a dick, this beer is fantastic and you will never make anything as good.

Other Half - All Green Everything
My good god.  Had this one thanks to Matt (Wisconsin) while we visited Torst... one of the best IPA style beers we could ask for on the east coast... but then again, just as good as Green Diamonds in the Sky... but the memories are there for the other one so it wins.. right? RIGHT.  But anyway, I need to get the fuck to this brewery and sample the hell out of everything.  Everything I've had by them so far makes my IPA's look like a salt covered slug at a dick competition... that doesnt even make sense but you know where i'm going with this.

________----------______TACO/CRYINGBABYBREAK/ANDREWWK_______--------______

Kane - Morning Bell w/ Cinnamon and Maple
Well, Aside from a solid memory of Matt visiting, this was a fantastic beer.  I know it's a completely different animal than ANTEAD, but if this were bottled, I'd lose my shit.  Hands down one of my top 5 of the year.  So much sweetness, so much coffee notes, so much GOD DAMN GOOD.

Bruery - Chocolate Rain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HewMaWU6wQ (that sums it up)

Modern Times - Blazing World
Pretty much every single time I think amber ale, I think this. And it ruins whatever the fuck I'm drinking at the time.. unless it's Nugget Nectar or Red Wheelbarrow, because let's face it, this is the TRIFECTA of good.

Knee Deep - Simtra
Hands down the best, sweetest, most juiciest IPA I've ever stuck my tongue on.  A wonderful nectar of the beer lords, beard gods, and hop whores.  A sweet arrangement of malts you have to wonder if rice or cereal was involved at some point... but it wasn't (right?).. and then the hops. THE HOPS. holy fuck. what a beer. Please, fair warning... they started bottle dating. it's tiny, but it's on there. do not get an old bottle, this fucker is the best thing in the world when it's fresh.

Surly/3 Floyds/Real Ale - Blakkr
A Black metal themed black ipa, juicy as all fucks, and made by three of the best breweries in america? is there really much more to say about this one? sure. drink it fresh. again, like every other hopped up beer, drink it fresh. otherwise, deal with a stale sometimes vegetal tasting beer... this one probably tasted like a regular stout if you got it past its prime. luckily, i got it like a week after release and it was absolutely phenomenal.

Founders - KBS
Every.Fucking.Time.

Solemn Oath - Butterfly Flashmob
Ok, so everything I've had from them has been great.  Honestly, better than great.. Good enough to warrant a trip to visit them.  This is their belgian ale... belgian ale? it's like if a saison dupont was gangbanged by a clusterfuck of hops.  aka... awesome.

Mikkeller - Betelgeuze
What a fucking WEIRD lambic style beer... just super strange malt profile.. lots of old faded hops.. and then one of the funkiest kinda weirdishly freaky brett profiles i've ever tasted.  It's like having beersex, for the first time, but like on a thursday mid day.

Sierra Nevada - Bigfoot
Every single year this beer proves amongst the top. Fresh or aged, it doesn't matter. This beer will always be fantastic.  Goes to show you don't need anything fancy.. just make a solid brew and you could win my fucking shitty heart.

Revolution - Anti Hero
Remember that time I said Steel Toe Size 7 was my favorite IPA? This is officially right up there with that. FRESH. Its already more leaning towards that amber maltyness, but hop damn, this beer fresh is just the bees knees.. and that bee is getting it ONNNNNNN

Cigar City - Marshal Zhukov
I had Huna this year, but it didn't leave as great of an impression as this. Charred roastyness, black coffee, dark chocolate, slick oil pour.  This beer was fucking intense.  Not talking crap on Hunapuh's, but this is probably a lot easier to get, a lot cheaper, and a lot more in the face of a happy drinker.

Jolly Pumpkin - Fuego del Otonio
Fall beers? Meh.... Fall Beers fermented in barrels and spiked with Brett? ME!!!! ME!!! ME!!!!
Such an awesome beer.  Darkish flavors with appley fruit notes.  Such a weird mix, but taught me so much about flavors.

Evil Twin - Molotov Cocktail
It's like pineapple juice with alcohol.  Lots of alcohol.

Dark Horse - Bourbon Barrel Plead the 5th
Awesome. Smokey, dark malts, tar-ish charred flavors... with nutty/vanilla bourbon notes. fucking fantastic.

Jackie O's - BBA Dark Apparition
Yup.... another one. tons of bourbon... beer was a bit thin-ish like coca cola. higher carbonation... easier to drink. weirdly amazingly awesome.

Carton - Regular Coffee
Wait, so I already tackled Carton earlier? Oh Yeah! ... well it wasn't enough. As if this brewer werent busy churning out some of the hoppiest fucking things in all of new jersey, it just want enough.. something more needed to be done. What do assholes in NJ love more than hops? Coffee and how do they take their coffee? REGULAR. If you don't get it, just move here already. A fantastically pulled off beer. Everything I expected, but then so much more. PLEASE BE IN CANS SOON!!!

Ok, I'm sleepy, a bit buzzed, and full from the sandwich. I believe this list of beers is done.  Can't wait to see what's in store for 2015 (please less bourbon barrels guys!!!)

*********************************************************************************
************************2015*MEGA*UPDATE*OF*TOP*****************************
********************INSERT*MEANINGLESS*NUMBER*HERE***********************
*********************BEERS*I*DRANK*IN*2014*CONTINUED***********************
*********************************************************************************

New Glarus - Cranbic
Ok, so I was a lucky duck and received a full four pack of these from (you guessed it) Matt in LaCrosse. I have done a good job at limiting myself to only drinking one so far. A VERY good job.  This beer is everything I loved about Enigma (which is apparently back YEAH MOTHERFATHERS!), but with a tartness only cranberries can bring to the table. funky, fruity, awesome.

White Pony - Dying Within
Such a hardcore name for what turned out to be one hell of a beer. I'm just going to cut to the chase - quoted by myself from my untappd checkin "Sweet jesus. This is fantastic. Subtle sour bourbon notes, tons of coffee, wet pecans, chocolate. Sex"... i think that sums it up for this one, but I do have to admit it was difficult choosing just one beer from this brewery.  Seriously, I need to start accepting donations to order beer from Europe more often.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
-*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*-LAUNDRY-*-*-*--*-*-*-BREAK-*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
-*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*ALSO, I FINISHED THIS BOTTLE OF SIMTRA-*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*--*
-*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*-*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*-*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*-*-*-*--*-*-*--*-*-*-*

Bruery - Smokey and the Bois
This was a phenomenal beer.  I don't normally like quads because, well, they taste like prunes and raisins and burn pretty hard for the most part. Unless, the majority of the stuff I had is poorly crafted, but I doubt it because even westy12 didn't have that huge of an impact on the style and it's like the best thing the good ol lord farted into a glass right? nope.. this motherfucker blends quad and stout together to form this monstrous attack on your sobriety. sweet chocolate, sweet molasses, honey, malty goodness, mixed with huge bourbon profile and a 16% 750ml bottle? BAD GOOD IDEA.

Black Husky - Howler
One of my very favorite existing breweries (these guys are pretty much the Carton of Wisconsin, as far as my likingness goes).  An imperial pale ale brewed with honey? Hmmmmm.. i wonder if it's gonna be sweet?! So damn sweet I had to recap and visit the next day.. yeah i had a dream about it, and woke up in the middle of the night to finish it off. THAT is how awesome this one was.

Kuhnhenn - Raspberry Eisbock
This is a brewery that has never fallen short. Their fluffer and that java creme brulee stout I had previously already put them in my top brewery list, and then I had 4D .. well.. the I was lucky enough to score this son of a bitch.  The church next door decided to have their carnival next door... so I invited enzo over because, if I'm gonna do something stupid, he has to be involved.  So we drank about a million (yeah yeah) beers and then we're all like.. uh hey man im not drunk yet.. and im all like hey man, i have this stuff that's probably like cough syrup.. you wanna go on the zipper? he responded with a no. I drank this, and shared it - i mean sheesh i'm not iron man - with him and some girl he brought over. it was our zipper motivation. she drank up, i drank up.. it was like a match made in carnival ride heaven. we stumbled over next door and the spanish dude operating the ride was all like WELL I MAY AS WELL GIVE THEM A 10 MINUTE HELLRIDE... and so this "beer" will always be connected with gravitational pull for me.

Evil Twin - Biscotti Break Bourbon Barrel Aged
This apparently happened after the zipper.  One of my favorite beers of all time, bourbon barrel aged? What the hell are you expecting, brain?

FUCK YOU ENZO

Black Husky - Headbutter
Grapefruit blast in my mouth ala fruitbursts.  Oh hey whats up you're a barleywine when you warm up? Jeez man, you're like one of those unsmelly hippy type mood rings in beer form.. i love you. 

Prairie - Eliza5beth
Tart brett funky awesome saison with cats. CATS.

Pipeworks - Blood of the Unicorn
Ok, I favor this brewery most of the time for the names of the beers and the artwork on the labels. But come on, this beer is fucking fantastic, and if you don't agree - there's a very easy way to stop talking to me it's called STOP TALKING TO ME.  A deep amber red, this fucker is hoppy enough to be an IPA but also malty enough to be better than your average amber. I get it, it's strong as unicorns.. i'm drunk enough to believe in them at this point... and red as blood. YUM EAT ALL DA BLOODZ (no homo)

Westbrook - Mr Chipper
Looking back at it - I know nothing about this beer other than THANKS KIM for letting me try it. I believe this is the one Lance said tasted like brandy, but then again, I believe, at this point.. you had us all wrecked out of our minds. Happy second anniversary favorite bar in the world.

Bruery - Grey Monday
So should i link that video again? Except like add a candy bar commercial to it? fuck, this beer was amazing. Like nutella via insulin to the mouth. Super cloyingly sweet with tons of hazelnut. UARGH i long for more.

Hill Farmstead - Fear and Trembling
No, not fear and loathing. nope. a Smoky delicious beer perfectly executed by the masterminds of beer itself. no, i'm not nuthugging, i don't have the time nor energy for that. This was a legit awesome beer and deserves its recognition. Fucl, i think it's one of their least sought after beers too... sure they're known for their saisons, but god damn they made a nice smoke dark ale.

Birra del Borgo - Duchessic
So you're thinking about taking Cantillon geuze and blending it with your beer? WIN. Come on now, what the hell did you expect ? a sub par beer? HA! Blueberries and funk. I can only hope this is a fluffer for blabaer... someone PLEASE get on that for me.

Founders - Sweet Repute
SWEET SWEET WHEAT WINE. Like drinking carbonated honey. fuck this was fantastic. probably the only memorable backstage series this year. Sweet, honelike, sugary awesomeness in some sort of barrel i could care less about because it tasted like a priest just came in my mouth and made beer out of it.

DC Brau - On the Wings of Armageddon
Last beer of 2014. One of the juiciest IPAs i've ever had. bitter, yes, grapefruit, of course. A bit of spicy up front almost reminiscent of heady (only up front).. and then mellowed out to something i feel maine brewing would be involved in. definitely did not expect this much awesomeness (even if i was ISO for 2 years now) from something this brewery made... BY FAR ONE OF THE BEST IPAS OF 2014.

Ok, that's all of it fuckers.. enjoy / drink up! I suppose I'll leave you all with some sort of music video that got me through this year or some shit like that. (also, i'm like a real life charicature of their drummer)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZLfJj5LQLs